Healing Loss: Addiction and the GOD Hole

“. . . I am a drug addict in recovery, so like any drug addict I know exactly how Hoffman felt when he “went back out”. In spite of his life seeming superficially great, in spite of all the praise and accolades, in spite of all the loving friends and family, there is a predominant voice in the mind of an addict that supersedes all reason and that voice wants you dead. This voice is the unrelenting echo of an unfulfillable void.”

 ~ Russell Brand, philosopher, comedian, actor

Graphic GOD Hole The “unfulfillable void” Russell Brand is talking about is the Gaping Overwhelming Damning Hole.  Even against perfectly good advice, I have called it the GOD Hole.*  It comes from our collective belief that we are separate from God.  Humanity has chosen to turn away from God. But there is good news.  This void is not unfillable.

The void IS bottomless when we attempt to fill it with any of the “things” or “conditions” of this world.  It is an emptiness born of worldliness begat from other-consciousness.  It will not be filled by fame, money, beauty, health, accolades, titles, romantic love, friendship, children, the tokens of wealth, or any kind of worldly success or good we can aspire to or procure.

“Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death is a reminder, though, that addiction is indiscriminate. That it is sad, irrational and hard to understand. What it also clearly demonstrates is that we are a culture that does not know how to treat its addicts. Would Hoffman have died if this disease were not so enmeshed in stigma? If we weren’t invited to believe that people who suffer from addiction deserve to suffer? Would he have OD’d if drugs were regulated, controlled and professionally administered? Most importantly, if we insisted as a society that what is required for people who suffer from this condition is an environment of support, tolerance and understanding. The troubling message behind Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, which we all feel without articulating, is that it was unnecessary and we know that something could be done. We also know what that something is and yet, for some traditional, prejudicial, stupid reason we don’t do it.”

 ~ Russell Brand


I don’t write about politics.  I am not going to suggest what society and governments should do.  But as an individual who understands addiction—as an alcoholic sober now almost 21 years—I can attest to what, beyond the crucial first step of abstinence—will quiet that self-destructive voice in the mind of the addict that wants “you”—the addict—dead.  We need to “give it life, give it love” in order to be born again.  (Jon Anderson, Born Again) I AM going to suggest what YOU should do if you are:

  • an addict,
  • becoming (through your behavior) an addict,
  • the loved one of an addict, or,
  • addicted to something less-quickly-lethal in this world, such as food, love, blackberries, or,
  • (this is the kicker) addicted to ANYTHING that seems to be outside of you.

Anything that seems to be outside of you includes, but is not limited to:  your job, your youth, your body, your partner, your children, your family, your business, your bank balance, your success, the news, that book on your bedside table, your phone, your to-do list, etc.

When I say “addicted” I mean that you go to this thing again and again expecting that it will change how you feel, and you are reluctant to give it up.

In fact, by virtue of being embodied on planet earth, we are all addicts.  At the very least we have a soul-crushing fascination with and attachment to things outside of ourselves.  We are loathe to give them up.  We return to these things again and again because we believe they will “save” us and fill the Gaping Overwhelming Damning Hole, which by the way is often experienced as a nebulous sense of unease and dissatisfaction.  Humanity is “the addict.”

The addict must start filling the Gaping Overwhelming Damning Hole (the GOD Hole) by giving it life and love through a spiritual relationship with God.  If the word “God” does not sit well, substitute “Unconditional Love.”  The addict must develop a spiritual life to overpower the voice that wants him dead (aka the ego).  The ego—the voice of addiction—patiently waits for an opening—any opening—like an alligator submerged just off shore at the watering hole, poised to snatch the unwary innocent as it drinks, dragging it to a watery grave.  In this spiritual relationship with God the addict will find everything she ever longed for and sought elsewhere:  Peace, Love, Joy, Safety and Abundance.

Asked about this seemingly perpetual well of thespian inspiration, Hoffman says,

“I have a lot of fear of acting. I feel like I’m horrible until I actually get it right.”

(“Truman Show: Philip Seymour Hoffman Soars in ‘Capote’”

by Gavin Edwards in Rolling Stone, October 20, 2005)

Philip Seymour Hoffman died of deception.  The Gaping Overwhelming Damning Hole spoke to him as the inner critic and perfectionist which, it argued, prodded him to greatness as an actor.  It did not say to him, “Hey, I’m the ego, this is my territory and I want you dead—because IF you remember your inherent Divine nature that will be the end of me.”  Instead it whispered in his ear, “I know just what will take care of that nagging fear. . . .”

Fame, accolades, money, worldly love and heroin did nothing to quiet the addict voice of the ego that wanted Philip Seymour Hoffman dead.  Only his relationship with God could have done that.  Only a connection to Peace, Love, Joy, Safety and Abundance, which he could remember at will, anywhere, at any time, would have been enough to counter the suicidal addict voice.  Only the faith and trust built from spiritual connection—called upon first in the face of craving and loss, and ultimately in the face of anything and everything—only faith and trust would have ensured that Philip Seymour Hoffman not die the sad, lonely, needless addict’s death by overdose one cold day.

All things work together for good.

There are no exceptions except in the ego’s judgment.

(A Course in Miracles Text)

It takes great learning to understand that

all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful.

(ACIM Manual for Teachers)

All things are lessons God would have me learn.

(ACIM Workbook)

God works through all things for the good of all.  That, in a nutshell, is the task of the Holy Spirit.  Let us align with the holy spirit of good, send a prayer of hope to the addict and make this loss useful by learning from it.

Here’s a place to start.  Take 15 minutes for a healing, musical meditation.  Give yourself a little window of time, quiet and privacy.  Go to http://jonanderson.com/music.html and click on the little arrow to the right of Born Again.





Sit comfortably with your spine straight.  Take a few deep, easy breaths.  Sigh.  Let everything go.  Allow your eyes to close and listen with your heart.  Let the words go too—you can read them below any time.

Born Again by Jon Anderson and Jonathan Elias

the song played on forever

the book would always open

the songs they would be singing

far and at best at last to give

show them the hope and let them rest a little while

and there they are just open

and there they are so innocent, so innocent

and for this we are meant to be

forever truly in silence

remember our guidance

our love of all that is is here with you.

our love of all that is is here with you.

am I to be born again, she said.

am I to be born again, she read my thoughts and brought them closer.

so many the children shall be raised above you

now in perfect majesty be raised at last to you.

nobody would ever try too hard to look and understand

nobody else would help them there

nobody else would help them see

knowing that we’re born again to understand the magic of life.

to follow in the footsteps, to follow in the teardrops

to follow in the footsteps, to follow in the teardrops

take away the bridges frightening

take away the bridges fearful

take away the blood that’s showing

take away the mist of trembling

take away the fear of every child

knowing that it’s always coming right

knowing that it’s always being right

soul is all forever, taken for forever

knowing that it can be, knowing that it can be true

knowing that it should be true

give it life, give it love, give it life, give it love

give it life, give it life, give it love!

give it life, give it love, give it love, give it love.

give it life, give it love.

With Peace and Love and Life,

Mira Carroll Healing Loss Thumbnail Small for Email


www.healingloss.biz Purchase paperback

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Healing Loss: Choose Love Now by Miradrienne Carroll

outlines spiritual principles and practices

for anyone who wants to heal, at any time,

from the context of healing grief and loss.

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4 Responses to “Healing Loss: Addiction and the GOD Hole”
  1. thepracticalpriestess says:


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  1. […] do not experience oneness because we are attached—to the level of addiction—to our own perceptions of separation, our separation-consciousness. We are also attached to the […]


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